I have a history with depression for more than 30 years that required me to take medication during the darkest periods. I have taken Zoloft for as long as 3 years consistently at one point. Somehow I had never made peace with taking drugs in spite of their effectiveness that unquestionably made my life not just manageable but enjoyable for long period of times. Then one day I decided in consultation with medical support that I wanted to stop taking anti-depressants. I was warned that it was a huge risk given that I had never been able to shown that I could consistently stay off without returning. We agreed that should I begin to see the approaching symptoms and darkness hovering I would take them again. That was almost 10 years ago, the longest period that I have not taken Zoloft. What worked for me during these years of living without depression was a deep spiritual life, strong support from family and friends and an unshakable faith that God had healed me.
So why would I be writing now if not all those years ago when I was in the fight? Well, I think I see it hovering, or not so much hovering but it like a way-off slow mist seeping towards me and I dread its return. This blog is my response to that mist that is ever so light that I would miss it had I not experienced it in its lightness to its heaviness all those years ago. I want to journal daily its journey towards me and what I will do. I write from a Christian perspective as my faith shapes my day-to-day life.
The plan certainly is not to be docile to it and passively wait yet I have been conquered by it before even after putting up a defense that I thought it couldn't penetrate. So begins its approach and my journey.
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