Peggy was her name, a complete stranger, a woman approaching me with her head so bowed low it was if she were looking for something in the snow. Peggy was in her 80's and our meeting a chance one, or supposedly so. I was leaving the Adoration Chapel walking to my car when I noticed her and felt drawn to her. But decided to let her be. I could see that it was taking much effort for her to walk, not because of any physical disability but from the load on her stooped shoulders and an obviously weighed down soul. She shouted to me just as I was about to step into the car, "Hi, do you know where the door is to the Chapel?" I closed my door and started walking towards her. Somehow I sensed that this was no coincidence that I was getting the chance to say hello to her.
"Hi, yes, I will show you, it is hard to see it; it's sort of a hidden door in the side of church, you have to know to walk to the side of the building to find it." She didn't move to follow me. I turned around.
"Will you pray with me? I suffer from depression." She said to me, with head still bowed as if I weren't standing there. My heart sunk for her. Now I was standing so close to her I could see now that she had passed 80 years a while now. It was a quick decision to share.
"What is your name?" I asked.
"Peggy," she replied.
"Peggy, I am Lilly. Yes, I will pray with you and I want you to know that I am not sure our meeting is a chance one. Peggy, I have suffered with depression for nearly 20 years and I know the darkness that never lets up, the light that never comes."
She lifted her head now. She knew I belonged.
She started to share, "I have lived this way my whole life, I have never been well. I don't know if I will ever not be this way. It may be too late now to hope."
"Peggy, I don't believe it is ever too late to hope. We are here standing, two strangers, about to pray and we met on my way out of the chapel and you entering. I don't for one minute think it is by chance that the person who walked out the door as you are looking for the way in happened to be a person that lived with depression for 20 years."
"You seem okay now, Lilly."
"I want to believe that I will never be depressed again and I pray that it will never return, but there was a time that I too thought there was no hope because mine went on for years and never lifted for long periods and when it did, it would return. Then one day, I wasn't depressed anymore. It has been about 5 years now; the longest I have gone without a relapse."
"How did you get rid of it?" She asked me.
"The truth is I did all the things that many of us do. I was in therapy for years; I took medication for years, I prayed even when I couldn't pray as I understood pray. I would pray in thoughts, in longings to God to help me. I held onto my faith in God, sometimes barely but somehow I held on. And I also spent lots of hours in Adoration and I did have good supportive friends and family who never gave up one me though it was challenging for them many times. But I kept hoping and believing that one day I may be well even as the years went by. The truth is I don't think I could have carried on if I thought that I wouldn't be well one day."
"Thank you Lilly. I agree with you, I don't think it is an accident we are here talking. He planned this I think (she actually looked up to the sky and I want to believe I saw a small smile but that may have been wishful thinking. It is enough she looked up to the sky).
We started to pray and with eyes closed we somehow found each others gloved hands and held hands as we prayed. At the end of the pray, I led her to the door. Just as she opened the door, I held it opened for her and said "Peggy, don't stop hoping and believing, let Him do the rest." She nodded.
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